Friday, January 2, 2009

Fall down. Get back up.

I fell down twice today.

The first was actual when my legs gave out on me after my elliptical workout. I must say that falling backwards (as I try to do when I fall) hurts much MUCH less now that I'm 80 pounds lighter. It really didn't knock the wind out of me at all. The only awkward part was getting back up after. My leg muscles were not receiving the needed signals from the brain, so even though my legs are strong, they don't work without the proper reception. Maybe I need to wear a rabbit ears hat like those old television reception boosters. Anyway, it was like trying to stand up when my legs were made out of a couple of uncooperative slinky toys. So I lay there until I cooled off enough for the signals to start going through again, then pulled myself up and sat in a chair for a few more minutes, all the while bemused at the situation. The old lady calling out "I've fallen and I can't get up!" kept coming to mind. Ah well. Such is life with MS, it's not going to stop me from getting back in shape. I am more than determined!!! (And actually looking forward to tomorrow's elliptical workout.)

The second fall was metaphorical. I went to Brugge Brasserie with Cro to celebrate our anniversary. Let me warn you that I have been thinking about doing a "carb-up" meal for a few days now. Even though I wanted to see if having more carbs for one day would kick my weight loss into high gear when I went back to very low carb regimen again afterward, that doesn't make the guilt of the situation any less. I'm hardwired now. Carbs are bad, mmkay (SouthPark reference to the character who says "drugs are bad, mmmkay"). So carbs are bad and eating anything more than 20 guilts me to no end!!! I hope it does what I was hoping and doesn't cause a gain. With all that said, I had part of a non-LC crepe filled with non-LC nutella. There was a moment when my eyes wanted to roll back in my head in delight. But honestly it will in no way have been a worthy cheat if it doesn't kick my losses back into high gear. Let's call it the one cheat allowed for the foreseeable future. If I gain, I just wish for strength to not despair and to LC that gain right off again. Cheating is bad, even planned cheating is bad. I accept that I was bad and weak this once.

I found this recipe and counts for the Carbonnade Flamande. The bowl that I was served was very large so rather than count 1/2 bowl as a half serving, I'll just count 1/2 bowl as 10 carbs to be safe. :)

CARBONNADE A LA FLAMANDE Serves 6 4 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 pound onions, sliced (Vidalias, if possible) 2 pounds lean beef, shoulder or round, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices 2 teaspoons brown sugar 3 tablespoons flour 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 2 cups pale ale 1 cup beef stock Salt and pepper 1 bay leaf 2 teaspoons mixed dried herbs (thyme, rosemary, sage), crumbled Heat flameproof casserole pan or Dutch oven over medium heat, add butter. When hot, stir in onions and saute 20 minutes, or until browned. Pour browned onions into sieve over bowl, let drain. Pour drained fat back into pan and reheat over medium heat. When hot, add beef in batches, removing when brown and adding to sieve with onions. When all the beef has been browned, in the remaining butter in the casserole, stir in the brown sugar and then stir in the flour to make a roux. Cook the roux for several minutes; then stir in mustard and add beer slowly, stirring constantly, to deglaze pan. Add beef stock and season with salt and pepper. Pour sauce into bowl. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. In the casserole, alternate layers of meat and onions; add the bay leaf to the first layer of onions and sprinkle each layer of onions with herbs. Pour sauce back into casserole. If needed, add more beer to cover. Bring to a boil over high heat, cover and place in preheated oven. Bake at 300 degrees at least 3 hours, or until the meat falls apart. Skim off fat, season with salt and pepper, and serve. Nutritional analysis per serving, based on 6: 472 calories, 30 grams fat, 13 grams carbohydrates, 32 grams protein, 113 milligrams cholesterol, 467 milligrams sodium, 2 grams dietary fiber, 60 percent of calories from fat.

Here's my day of anniversary eating:

[ 3.5g ] LC cheesecake
[ 1g ] LC peanut butter
[ 1g ] samplings from a cheese plate appetizer
[ 2g ] a tiny sliver of apple from said cheese plate appetizer
[ 4g ] 10 or so pine nuts from said cheese plate appetizer
[ 10g ] 1/3 of a bowl of Carbonnade Flamande (beef, onion and Brazilian beer stew)
[ 15g ] 8 Frites lightly dipped in curry sauce
[ 28+the drizzle of icing ] 1/2 of a Nutella crepe with a drizzle of white icing and raspberry sauce
I estimate the total of what I ate to be close to 68 carbs
not having dinner, no way

TOTAL I'm guessing about 72.5 carbs

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