Thursday, May 28, 2009

down day

Feeling blah and in a rut today. I'm just so tired of being overweight. If I could just lose 40 more pounds I would be considered "normal" weight. Not overweight, not fat, not obese ... so why can't I just buckle down and do what it takes to get those 40 pounds off and be done with it?

T_T crying face
>_< tantrum face
:/ insecure face
):-( frustrated face
>:@ angry face

Hopefully I got that out of my system. I know, sadly, that I'll NEVER be done with it. Not even when I reach my goal will I be done with it.

Now I need to focus closely on what I can do to gain a little ground on this weightloss thing each day. I feel like I'm walking around the base of the last bit of the mountain. I can see the summit but with each step I'm circling in the illusion of progress while not actually getting closer.

Today for lunch I decided to bring two eggs and only one Atkins bar. I also decided to have only one tablespoon of peanut butter for breakfast rather than my normal two. I need hunger pangs to be my sherpa. That is how I'll know that I'm climbing rather than circling.

I did some stretches in the office girls room at 2ish pm (bend at waist, touch toes, hold for a count of 20, bend up and reach for the sky, hold for a count of 20, stretch arms out to side, twist left as far as I could go, twist right, back to middle and do it all again) over and over hmm, 10 times. I think I'll do that everyday. Can't hurt.

Breakfast - 1carb/95cal
[1carb][95cal] 1 TBSP peanut butter

Lunch - 14carb/326cal
[1carb][150cal] 2 large eggs
[3carb][16cal] diced onion
[10carb][160cal] Atkins bar

Dinner - 11carb/675cal
[10carb][580cal] ground beef, onions, mushrooms, cheese, half of a yellow bell pepper
[1carb][95cal] 1 TBSP peanut butter

TOTAL 26carb/1096cal

7 comments:

  1. Love those faces and have gone through all of them! Love your honest, open blog!

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  2. I think you need to take a giant step back and see just how far you've come and how much you've accomplished. You've lost 97 f*ckin' pounds. I had to carry some 80 lb. bags of concrete out of my garage this morning, and I'm here to tell you that's a whole lotta baggage to tote. You may have work yet to do, but make no mistake: you have climbed a mountain. You ought to feel good about it.

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  3. anne h - :)

    Jack - I'm glad I'm not made of 80lb bags of concrete. :} I know I've come a long way but I still have to allow myself a tantrum now and then.

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  4. i say scream it out. get pissed.

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  5. Carlos - I'll wait until the drive home. :o

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  6. I was feeling pretty much the same way today. I was complaining to my mom about how I just want to be done with this whole weight thing. She reminded me that I will never be "done" - I will always have to watch my weight, eat well and exercise.
    So, I stopped complaining! lol Because I really do want to lose it, and if that means I will need to be on top of my weight my whole life, than so be it.
    I hope you cheer up soon! You are so close to goal!

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  7. Jenn - Your mom is right. I knew that when I started complaining. This isn't a quick fix and be done with it ... but oh how I long to experience the end result NOW.

    I suffer from impatience along with my unwavering determination to keep at it however long it takes. Doing the math, it took me about a year to lose 97 pounds so another 40 should take at least 5 months. I have a feeling it is going to take another year.

    *taps foot impatiently* :) Can't I get one of those no interest no payment loans on my result and enjoy it now? Guess it doesn't work that way darn it.

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