Wednesday, June 24, 2009

funeral dress

I took a bereavement day off work yesterday to attend my uncle's viewing. OMGosh, what a looong and tiring day. I was happy to be able to attend however. One of the daughters and I had a very close relationship and I still kick myself for not attending my aunt's funeral a few weeks ago. One of her sons and I were very close growing up.

I gave my cousin (the daughter) a very long and heartfelt hug when I got to the viewing. She looked at me after and said in an voice full of earnest emotion that she was so glad I could be there. That made the long drive and taking a day off work (which is going to make the rest of the work week extra crazy) so worthwhile. I nearly cried as I hugged her and expressed my sympathy. I hugged the other daughter and felt the same gratitude that I was there. The pain of losing a parent has been much on my mind over the last few months with what my own dad has gone through. I am so sorry that they are having to go through this.

My aunts were also very happy to see me. And mom was happy and proud that I accompanied her. She called me after to let me know how much everyone loved seeing me and how beautiful I look. Well, mom's are supposed to say that but I was small enough that I didn't feel embarrassed what-so-ever. Funerals are difficult enough without also having to feel self-conscious about how your clothing fits and how you look. I was completely comfortable in my skin and therefore was fully focused on providing comfort to my family rather than all the embarrassments I would have felt 98 pounds ago.

Yes, 98 pounds total loss (yay) and am now 182. The 170's are going to be such a welcome achievement. Slow and steady wins the race to get my life back.

BTW, I want to burn my funeral dress. It fits and it looks cute I suppose, but I hope I don't need to wear it again for a LONG LONG time.

TUESDAY's [carbs][calories]
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– - - -
BREAKFAST - 4.5carb/235cal
[1.5][235] one-minute flaxseed muffin
[0][0cal] green tea with stevia


LUNCH - 9carb/490cal
[3carb][150cal] 1/4 of a stuffed pepper (ground beef, mushroom, jalapeño, cheeses)
[6carb][340cal ] 2 oz chipotle peanuts from the gas station convenience store


DINNER - 6carb/340cal
[3carb][190cal] peanut butter
[3carb][150cal] 1/4 of a stuffed pepper (ground beef, mushroom, jalapeño, cheeses)

TOTAL 19.5carb/1065cal

3 comments:

  1. Rough story - but good to reconnect with people you haven't seen for awhile. Still having PB, I see? Me too. It's filling and somewhat wholesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, it was very nice to reconnect. The circumstances sucked, but it was good to be there for them.

    I've cut way back on the pb. I don't plan to give it up completely but I am not relying on it as much as I had been. I do believe it is wholesome, filling, quick and convenient. I'm not even sure it is the reason for my stall – makes no sense to me that it could be. I'm always evaluating and adapting though, so following advice, I've cut back on it to see what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The hard things and right things are often one and the same. You did both. You did good.

    ReplyDelete

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