Monday, May 10, 2010


Mom tells me that her sister's son (one of my older cousins) relayed that he saw my dad a few days ago. That my dad looks healthy, in his mid 30's, wearing all white, and didn't say a word. My cousin said he saw my dad while he was awake and this was as real as real can be. That although he had never really thought much about whether or not there is an afterlife that he believes now. I wonder if this is true, why didn't dad visit me. :(

I've always known this cousin to be level-headed. Grounded. He's a family man, married with a teenage daughter, and is a hard-working and bright man. He's not a flake nor an overly emotional person ... just a normal intelligent guy. I've never known him to do or say anything that would make me question this. My cousin lost his own father years and years ago. Back when we were both still kids. Well, me a kid and him a teen. He's always been a source of strength, along with his two brothers, for his mom.

Although he liked my dad, they didn't have any significant connection that I know of ... just uncle/nephew, not a blood relative, didn't see each other too often, he didn't even get to dad's funeral (not that I fault him for that, I haven't made it to every one of the funerals that have occurred in our family thus far either).

Certainly I had many cousins who were much closer to dad than he was. I don't understand why my dad would be on his mind enough to cause a strong delusion if that's what it was. I don't understand if it was real why dad hasn't come to see me.

*This is probably too depressing a topic for me to expect comments ... don't worry, I'll feel better tomorrow*

Breakfast - 2carb
[2carb] Atkins bar

Lunch - 20carb
[0carb] bacon
[2carb] cheddar
[18carb] peanuts

Dinner - 10.5carb
[2carb] half of a red bell pepper
[0carb] ground sirlion
[1carb] diced onion, sprinkle of shredded cheddar, diced chili peppers
[1.5carb] cream cheese
[6carb] CarbSmart ice cream

TOTAL 32.5carb


  1. I just had a thought that maybe he showed himself to your cousin because he didn't want to see you cry or get upset, but he could still let you and your Mom know he's ok. It's been almost a year since John passed away at work and we still feel his presence at work, but it is tapering off. I still talk to him when I am alone in my office though, it makes me feel better. {{Hugs}}

  2. That's a sweet thought. I don't know if it happened or if my cousin or my aunt just maybe think this story will put my mom more at ease. If it's real I'd rather see for myself because it's hard for me to not be skeptical otherwise ... people do some odd things in the name of trying to help. I'm glad that you feel John's presence and that it gives you peace. thank you for the hugs. :) Always a welcomed thing.

  3. Elizabeth Kobler Ross always said she saw patients once they had passed away....It's in wikipedia! So it HAS to be true!


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