Sunday, June 19, 2011

Week19 begins

I had bad dreams repeatedly this weekend.

The first one was a wonderful nightmare because I got to see my dad in it. It was a nightmare because mom was hiding him under the deck of her house. When I crawled under to see him half his face was cooked and his left eye was permanently closed and inset with a square mark around it. Though his face didn't look a horror I was deeply worried. It wasn't burned but half of it was cooked and had no bloodflow. Still, I was tremendously happy to see him and to hug him though I also had conflicting feeling about why this had been hidden from me and how it was going to be to go through mourning again (because a person can't possibly live long with half their face cooked). I really don't think I've finished mourning in the first place and can't imagine that I ever will be past that. I think about him every day and it still hurts so much. Anyway, back to the dream ... he was also delirious and asking me to find impossible information for him in order to solve this mystery and make it all better. Of course I agreed to investigate the info for him but was so sad inside because I knew he was fighting to live and also knew the info he sought was a wild goose chase. I love you dad.

The next dream was disturbing in a completely different way. Compared to the first dream this one was a walk in the park. I dreamt I was in a traffic jam when an angry lady tapped on my Jeep window. She claimed that I'd hit her car. Not having felt an impact and the fact that her car was behind my Jeep made me immediately suspicious so I informed her that I hadn't felt anything but was calling my agent, rolled up the window and called my insurance to let them know what was happening. The traffic hadn't moved in a good while but by some magic, my insurance agent was there and we both got out to look at her claimed damage. Her front bumper was scuffed but there were no corresponding marks on my Jeep. That combined with me not having felt an impact made her claim very fishy. As my insurance agent was taking over and arranging to have both vehicles inspected (to prove that it wasn't my Jeep that had caused her damage) I woke up.

In the next dream someone knocked at my door at home. When I looked out it was two police officers. The news here has been reporting men dressed as police officers gaining entry to homes in order to rob them. I refused to open the door and said I was first going to call 911 to see if they were really police officers. They became angry and started to break down my door. My cell phone was in the other room so I was unsure whether to try to block up the door or run for my phone. And I woke up.

Bad dreams! But I got to see and hug my dad. :)

I'm going to have vacation brain all week since Cro and I are taking the following week off to celebrate his birthday. The new guy will either be starting this week or perhaps the week I'm on vacation. I hope there will be enough billable work to keep us both busy since it seems we've been in a lull for the last several weeks.

And now that I've blathered on about dreams and life, here's the diet related stuff. I've gained 4 pounds this day after free day. That's nothing new and seems that I lose 4 pounds just as quickly the following week as I do when I try to keep free day on the down low and only gain 2 pounds. I haven't done enough experimenting with that to be sure and I think my body would just laugh and go the other way the moment I think I have it figured out.

Free day is over and it's back to my low-carb 4HB meals. This week I think I'll be having kosher franks for the protein, broccoli and I haven't decided whether I will have legumes or not. I skipped the legumes all last week and though I had hunger for the first couple of days it wasn't too bad for the rest of the week. Maybe I'll add legumes to half of my meals and leave the other half without. Nope, after a quick trip to the kitchen to check labels I see the beef franks have 1 carb each but only 6 protein so I'd need to have two per meal. I think I'll skip legumes again this week to keep the carbs per meal low.

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 Today's meals total 64 protein (60-90 grams per day is ideal for me) and 9 carbs


8am
Quest protein bar (20 protein, 5 carbs)

12pm
2 Hebrew National kosher beef franks (12 protein, 2 carbs)
broccoli (3 carbs)
4pm
2 Hebrew National kosher beef franks (12 protein, 2 carbs)
broccoli (3 carbs)

8pm
bacon (20 protein)

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