Sunday, February 19, 2012

a new era

Saturday was wonderful with Cro being home and me not worrying about work for most of the day. Today started off with me having worries about the meeting with the large agency who wants to connect with me to see what I might be able to help them with on a freelance basis. What if they don't think they can use me? What if my skills aren't up to what they need? What if I come out of the meeting feeling worthless?

I worry too much and I need to be stronger. They are just one potential opportunity and my future doesn't hang solely on what they think.

Early this afternoon I got email from the DVD releasing company and they are excited to work with me, asked if I was full-time employed or full-time freelance so they can manage how much work to send to me, and they sent me my first project. Getting a project has put me in a great mood, positive outlook, and given some mental strength that I needed. :) I WILL do this!

Oh, and I finished the website for Matt's company and heard back that they love it. They are sending it on to the client and I'm hopeful they will have a positive reaction too but I haven't heard yet.

I know that I've allowed my work to define me in life. Without it I suffer from very low self-esteem. With it I feel empowered. With lots – even though stressful – I feel happy.

Weekends have a different feel to them now but they still are to be looked forward to. Saturday was a great no-worries day and today is still the day before the work week begins. I will get up early tomorrow and get dressed as if I'm leaving the house. I will work on my project and keep my afternoon appointment to try for more work. After the appointment I will come home and work on the project more, working late until Cro gets home.

It's a whole new era and it will be a good thing. I will make it a good thing. It's scary but I've been thrown into the sea so I've got to swim.

Okay, in diet news, I didn't bother checking with the scale this week but I haven't done anything to cause a gain. If anything I haven't been eating enough. I was like that when dad died too.

Cro's pulled pork buyer backed out on half of the order and so we have plenty of pulled pork to eat. Today's meals are a Quest bar, pulled pork and bacon. I think I will make a version of Angie's shepherd's pie using pulled pork, cauliflower, green beans, and maybe some diced onion and a light dusting of sharp cheddar. Sounds good, will make several meals for the week and it's low carb.

4 comments:

  1. You sound very spunky today. Watchout world, there's a new Tracy and she's grabbing the bull by the horn!

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  2. A"woe is me" attitude isn't going to keep me afloat so I have to be strong. I remember your story of being scared and winning through in the beginning. :)

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  3. See how great you are already doing?? Anybody who hires you as a freelance designer is lucky to have you and maybe you could even offer a percentage-off if they refer more business to you. You are going to be busier than you even know what to do with!

    I think the problem with getting your self-esteem from making good money is in the if-then dilemma. If I make good money, then I love myself... If I don't make good money, well, then...you already know what I mean. I totally get what you're saying because when I'm going through lean times for business, it really makes me question my self worth...

    Keep on kicking butt... The world of business needs your amazing designs!

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  4. Thank Angie, that means a lot.

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