Wednesday, September 11, 2013

12 September 2001

This is the journal entry I made regarding the day after, 12 years ago. I was 12 years younger, wrote journal entries without caps, was naive and probably still am. Still, this is what I blogged about the day after that horrible day twelve years ago. Do any of you want to share where you were, what you were doing, or even something you wrote about that day?


our mouths dropped open

everyone i know had the same reaction, frozen where they stood, mouth dropped open, eyes fixed in a wide, unblinking and unbelieving stare. many of us, american citizens, citizens of other free and democratic countries, no matter our ages, are children compared to much of the world. we remain children under the security blanket of societies which value life so highly (and are so tolerant of individual beliefs) that, although we are no doubt aware, we dwell little in thought from day to day about places in the world where things are very different. 

there are places in this world where people know that the spiritual self takes huge precedence over the physical self. you may say that we know this too, that we believe in this way too. of course, but so many of us are such children. in our country, we indeed do terrible things to each other ... terrible acts committed through intolerance. but these acts of intolerance are condemned by our society as a whole. they are not accepted by the mass majority of people in the free and democratic society. overall, we live in a place where differences are cherished rather than persecuted. this is the way i believe ... but i am a child.

yesterday, with my eyes wide and unbelieving, i felt our cradle crashing to the ground. i felt the presence of those far away "others" who i've always thought of as living in a different world from me. they are not so far away. there is only one world which we live upon. i am a child. i do not understand why someone would want to hurt me, why people would cheer and dance in the streets at the thought of my death. but i do understand it. my innocence has always been a fragile thing which i've allowed to run free within my thoughts, pushing the hard, dark stones of reality back into a far closet of my mind. the closet which never had a lock upon the door.

so i understand it. there are people who see us as debaucherous, frivolous, egotistical, loud-mouthed children who run around with our eyes closed in our playroom of a country, rich and fat with cookies and milk and toys everywhere. they see us as self-absorbed, pushy kids who think we can solve all of the world's problems through our vanity of mightiness. they don't want our individuality-focused, life-cherishing, pleasure-driven people nosing into their "adult" issues of holy, spiritual crusade. there are people in this world who believe that God will kill their enemies, that the lives of the enemies are nothing, that the lives of themselves are nothing. all suffering, all death, all agony is nothing but the will of God, performed by God, expected by God through his faithful, in His name, by His will. there are people who believe that tolerance is a sin.

i am still a child. wide-eyed and afraid. confused. i have lived in a "world" that cherishes life and individuality. a "world" that has tucked me in at night with a mother's love and blessings to find my own way of the spirit. the cradle has been overturned and we are bewildered. the child is not dead ... i think we may grow up now, as a society, and keep the disturbing knowledge of the "real world" in our minds. it is no good to ignore it and go on pretending we are safe and secure in our happy places. we have to deal with this complex situation as adults. it is not going to be a play date.


  1. Love this piece of writing. Our snow globe was shattered that day.

  2. Yes, it really was shattered that day.


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