Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Reactiving "unbreakable deal" mode

One thing that has gone completely lax since my long ago job loss (it's so cool to have survived that trauma to and be able to finally think of it as "long ago") is my super ability to keep promises to self.

I know that unwavering ability to keep promises to myself was grounded in fear and anxiety and a touch of OCD that I put to work in a positive manner. A long-ago unbreakable promise to self went something like this:

1.) Make promise to self (have to say the words out loud)
2.) Fear of what will happen if the promise is broken (at that time it was fear of losing job)
3.) Promise can't be broken due to slight OCD tendancy which reinforces the fear
4.) Success

I've been without the Fear item since it actually happened. That has made my promises to self become breakable and success unachievable.

I think I've come up with a suitable Fear item finally. It is the fear of freelance failure. So I'll just plug in "freelance success" into the promise security slot and let the OCD reinforce it and wallah! :)

The new promise is to have no more than 60 carbs per day, Sunday – Friday until Christmas with illness being the only forgivable reason for the promise to not be enforced. Illness as in hospital or something that gives me no choice in my eating. So that's not something that is likely or that I can use as a loophole.

60 carbs per day is way more than I need, but it gives me a wall not to be broken. The real goal is to keep the carbs low enough that I can lose as close to 10 pounds per month as possible. I can always adjust the promise to lower, but just didn't want to put on chains so tight that it depresses me! Maybe next week I'll adjust it to no more than 30 carbs. I already eat way less than 60.

Okay, crazy talk over. :) But I'm feeling good about having an unbreakable deal with myself again.

In other crazy talk, I made cauliflower chocolate pudding. Ew, you say? Well it sort of is "ew". But it's still warm. I'm hoping it will taste good after it's been chilling for 3 hours as the recipe instructs.

*update YUM! I chilled some and it is quite good. :D

[ 34g ] Wolfgang Puck veggie soup
[ 1g ] taste-test spoonful of the cauliflower chocolate pudding
[ 4g ] peanuts

=====Total 39 carbs=====


  1. Slow down, Miss O. You made whaaaaaaaaaat? *mouth waters*

    1. Just use a non-bitter sweetener and it's pretty good.


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